The Price I Paid
by WickedAlways
Summary: AU Spencer is at the wrong place at the wrong time meeting Ashley under unforgivable circumstances that continue to haunt the girls. It starts off a bit intense but I promise the rest takes on a lighter mood.
1. Thing's We Lost That Night

Never done this before so if you want to check out now I completely understand, go on, get. If you decide to stick around please know that I have most of this story worked out.

Im a tough ole broad so let me have it (not really but for the sake of experience and personal growth lets pretend I am). Any critique is welcome, constructive criticism preferred. As long as you're not being outright rude and have a point its all good.

Although we get off to a violent start the rest of the story is mostly angsty and funny... I hope o.O'  
It's a bit timey wimey as it jumps from POV's from chapter to chapter. Thats just the way the story wrote itself. At some point the two times will meet in the middle and there will be no more time jumps after that. Looking forward to your feed back and to hopefully entertain at least one of you :)

Welp here goes nothing.

I do not own South of Nowhere...yet. I dream big people.

* * *

"Ooomph.." A mixture of blood and saliva seeped from her mouth past her already torn and battered lips. The leather on Marcy's boots smashed into the already tender flesh of her cheek again, breaking the bone and tearing the soft tissue as it ground against her teeth. Each blow sending her a second of relief as she blanked out before coming back. Blood continued pooling in her mouth as drops travelled slowly down to the back of her throat.

She attempted to roll onto her side, broken pieces of asphalt bit into her damaged face as she curled into herself trying to block the relentless attack on her small body.

She could hear someone pleading with them to stop, trying to reason with the monsters that laughed and spit on her as she lay curled on the ground of a dirty alley. The chill of the damp asphalt seeped into her clothes but not as deep as the frightened pleas of the stranger. In the panicked cries of a stranger she found a truth she hadn't quite grasped with her broken mind and body.

That truth wrapped itself around her heart making it beat erratically in protest as if trying to shake free from the confines of its revelation. She was going to die tonight.

A kick plows into her stomach sending her recoiling and sprawled out on her back once again. As she lies gazing up at the starless night she feels like she has left her body. That isn't her lying a few feet from the sidewalk in an alley that smells of piss and garbage.

That girl that people keep walking passed as they go about their business, their calloused hearts immune to her futile struggle to survive. That isn't her. Her vision is a kaleidoscope of colors as the neon signs and lights of the city swirl all around her.

As she lies on her back the blood creates a steady stream down her throat and she chokes on it. She rolls her head to one side spitting and spraying the contents of her mouth alleviating the sensation that she was drowning in her own blood.

"Fucking bitch spit on me!" She didn't recognize the voice of her outraged attacker but she doubted she'd even recognize her own mother at this point. The bodies standing over her we're swirling and swaying. She knew she would be blacking out soon.

"Arrrghh..." The girl whose shoes she stained wiped the blood off with several swift kicks to her ribs. The sound of her bones snapping and cracking under the barrage of kicks seeming to further the rage in the girl.

"Tess...Tess! You're going to kill her!" The blows stopped coming and the night was enveloped in silence. Was it over? She tried to move and sit up but the ground beneath her refused to remain still as it tilted and spun, her body slumped back onto the ground in a heap of broken bones.

"Please..." She whispered hoarsely forcing the barely their word out through blood that continued to pour profusely from the molars she lost as well as the tears in her cheek. Breathing life into that one word ripped through her chest sending her reeling in pain, she'd never begged for anything in her life but she knew she was in trouble, uttering that simple word had felt like someone had run a a jagged knife through her chest. An intense burning and stabbing continued to assault her with each breath.

"I...ca...can't..." She desperately tried to roll onto her side once again but halted all movement when she felt the heel of Marcy's boot grind her fingers into the asphalt. "Fuuuuck!" She screamed into the night as she felt the bones crush beneath the devastating weight of her biggest mistake.

"Jesus! Marcy you went too far! You said you wanted to teach her a lesson not beat her to death. Shit!" A raven haired girl began pacing while running her trembling hand through her hair.

"Bitch gets to graduate with honors I guess" Marcy shrugged it off as if nothing significant had occurred here.

Her head felt like it was going to explode as a blinding pressure drumming behind her eyes pounded in sync with her heartbeat. Her bleary tear drenched eyes searched for what she believed was her last hope. Bloodshot eyes glanced over the blurry images of the girls trying to match the pleading voice from before with a face. When she tried to focus on her attackers faces the exertion made her feel like her skull was fracturing from the inside out. She clenched her eyes shut.

She could hear them arguing with each other but their shouts bounced and echoed in the alley creating a confusing symphony of voices. When she opened her eyes again it was with desperation she forced her senses to sort through their muddled voices and find the one she knew could help her. Her vision continued to betray her as it faded in and out and her heart stuttered as fear overpowered all else. She could die tonight, at 19 she would be found beaten to death on some cold, wet and dirty alley in the Seattle. Just a mile from where she was lying she knew tourists we're dancing and dining while she died.

She tried to speak again telling herself that she could bare the pain from the effort because the only other option was dying. She scanned the girls once again but stopped when they landed on deep pools of sorrow on a horror stricken blonde that was softly crying behind a frazzled brunette. Bingo. Another wave of darkness threatened to overcome her and she gritted her teeth, shutting her eyes, willing her body to listen to her for just a little longer.

She opened her eyes once again and wasted no time finding the scared blue eyes that shed guilt as she shivered and wrapped her arms tightly around herself. Finally blue eyes met her own fading brown and she let relief wash over her as the startled blonde locked eyes with her. Its now or never. The blonde stiffened and her breath hitched. Everything was fading so fast and as her vision closed in on her all she could do was hold the blue eyes to her. For a brief moment Ashley saw those blues reflect shame and silent apologies.

"Ca...Cant...Bre...Breath" She whispered harshly to the blonde, but her breaths we're so ragged and she was wheezing heavily she didn't think the blonde heard her. But the blonde suddenly looked stricken and the fear that washed over her face was the answer she was hoping for. She understood her.

"Fuck!" the blonde hissed reaching for a brunette's hand dragging her away. "Let's go Carmen!" The brunette resisted but the blonde refused to stay there any longer and forced her friend to follow taking with them all hope. She's going to let me die, they all are. Ashley watched hope flee the dingy alley and for the first time since being jumped she allowed herself to weep freely.

A strangled cry tore itself from her burning lungs, the sound ricocheted off the walls and seized the retreating blonde making her steps falter. She looked back over her shoulder at the small and fragile girl lying in dirty water surrounded by loose pieces of trash. She watched the petite girl choking on her sobs and moaning in pain. Brown eyes filled with despair and so much fear pleaded with her again. Tears clouding her eyes she turned away picking up her pace and leaving that alley behind her.

The rest of the click followed their lead and left immediately after them after exchanging a few more words. They left her there to die, all except the person responsible for both her physical and emotional pain. Ashley would be spending her last moments with Marcy and a few weeks ago the thought would have brought her comfort. She looked up at the night sky making out the moon behind one of the buildings and looking for stars in a starless sky.

"It didn't have to be this way Ash...Ashley." Marcy tried to make eye contact with her but Ashley focused on the moon determined to not let Marcy be the last thing she saw before she died. "I told you not to fuck with me." If she hadn't been dying she would have laughed.

She remembered when Marcy had first said that to her and she had no fucking idea that it had been an actual "warning." Had she known she never would have gotten involved with Dee. Sure she'd gotten into a few brawls over girls but this was some gangster stuff straight out of a movie. She had no idea shit like this actually happened. It didn't matter anymore, nothing did. She was going to die.

A final scream of pain pierced the night as Marcy delivered one last blow to the side of her head bringing flashing lights behind her eyes. She felt warmth begin to ooze from her ear. She'd thought she endured the worst already but that last kick sent her spinning as the moon, neon sign and buildings swirled making her extremely nauseous. She wretched nearly choking on her own vomit, the pain that ripped through her chest as she puked all over herself was unbearable and she convulsed throwing up again from the pain. This is hell she thought.

Marcy finally left her and Ashley thanked God for granting her at least one Mercy this night. As she laid there random thoughts fled her fractured mind.

_'I won't be able to give Kyla a ride to the airport. She's going to be mad.'_

Darkness persists at the edge and she relents shutting her eyes against the harsh neon sign that's buzzing above her.

_'I wish mom and I could have fixed things, maybe its better this way.'_

_'I didn't think she'd walk away and leave me here to die_...'

She gasps and tastes the blood that sputters from somewhere within as she tries to force air into her lungs. Droplets of blood coat her face and mix with her tears.

'I'm drowning in my blood' she thought lastly as she continued to struggle to get air in to her lungs. Ringing in her ears muffles the city sounds and she opens her eyes again to stare at the moon. Not wanting to die alone she takes solace in the light it bares down on her. Her vision begins to bleed black and she knew she was living her last moments.

A figure approached her and she tried to keep her eyes open but she was coming in and out of consciousness. One second the figure was approaching her and the next time she opened her eyes they were kneeling next to her. She faded out again and when she came back she was lying on her side. The pain from being in this position was excruciating, her ribs were protesting and from this position the pain radiating from her arm told her it was broken. She tried to roll onto her back again to alleviate some of the pain. Her vision was blurred from tears and from the likely concussion she had. The stranger that was kneeling next to her kept her in place and prevented her from rolling onto her back. Why are they doing this to me she thought, can't I just fucking die in peace?

She felt a comforting hand caressing her cheek and for the first time she allowed her weakened body to relax, no longer fighting the stranger. They we're there to help. She could breathe a little better now, she was still wheezing but she wasn't choking on her blood anymore. She thought she heard someone speaking to her but the constant ringing and pounding in her head was making it difficult to make out what they were saying. She was breathing better but the pressure in her chest was increasing and she knew that the stranger had only bought her time.

Ashley was going to make the most of this time and she raised her limp arm trying to reach into her jean pocket for her cell phone, the broken bones grinding against each other and tearing further into muscle. She cried out in pain. The stranger understood what she had been trying to do and she pulled out her cell phone speaking to her again. Ashley shook her head slightly telling them the only way she could that she couldn't hear them.

She pried her eyes open and tried to focus on the stranger but gave up when the brightness of the neon sign caused shooting pains so she quickly squeezed her eyes shut again.

Ashley attempted to loosely grip her cell when they tried to place it in her hand but her limbs weren't responding. "Ky...Ky.." she tried to make the stranger understand she wanted them to dial her baby sister Kyla.

"Call...please" She begged, the strain from the effort making her black out briefly. When she came to again she could see flashing blue and red lights getting brighter before she closed her eyes offering them repose from the intensity of the lights. She felt something pressing into her ear, her cell phone. She could faintly here Ky's voice as she used the last of her energy to decipher the noises and focus on just her voice.

A peace came over her as she heard her baby sister say hello for the third time.

"Ky" she whispered "..Love..you..." the phone went silent for a few seconds.

"Ash? Ash whats wrong? Where are you? Ashley?" The unsteady timber of her sisters voice clawed at her emotions.

"Love you...so...much." She struggled out and tried to convey all the love she felt in the brief moments she thought she had left.

"Are you drunk? Are you ok?" God dammit Ashley you're freaking me out!" Ashley wept as an odd combination of relief and fear began to flood her. "Are you crying Ash? Oh god...where are you I'm coming to get you."

"It hurts Ky..." She breathed out and felt ashamed but she was scared and needed her sister. "Scared..." She sobbed loudly and uncontrollably causing even more pain to rip through her broken body and she grunted and yelled in frustration.

"Ash..." Kyla whispered brokenly into the phone, pressing it closer to her ear. A cold fear took over her body with chills that ran bone deep. She listened to the strongest person she knew breakdown over the phone. Something was beyond wrong, "Ashy Bear where are you?" She cried into the phone calling her sister by a nickname she hadn't used since Ashley turned double digits and told her sister she was too old for childish nicknames.

Ashley smiled into the phone despite the pain it caused her torn lips "So tired" she mumbled to no one in particular. Her body and mind we're beyond exhausted and she couldn't hold on anymore. She could hear her sisters worried screams fade into the background joining all the other noises of the night.

She felt a hand running through her hair and her cell phone was pulled away from her ear. She wanted to protest but was walking that thin line between awareness and unconsciousness. As the sounds and sights of the night began to fade she felt soft whispers against her cheek.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know. I should have stopped them." She felt wetness hit her cheek and her last thought was 'she came back'.


	2. I Don't Go To Sleep To Dream

Thank you to those that left a few words, favorited or followed, to anyone that took the time to read this. I hope to not waste your time. More than anything I hope to entertain you.

To the reviewer that wanted a rampage: YES! I feel accomplished now. Thats the overall sentiment I am going for.

SceneryWithoutSolace: Thank you 3 I shall try to not disappoint.

SoNWhovian: I answered your question at the end of this chapter.

EagleSenior: I've never shared anything I've written so thank you for taking the time to log in and leave some encouraging words :)

Nude As The News: It makes me giddy that it managed to evoke that emotion. Thank you for reviewing! ^_^

The lovely people that own South of Nowhere have not accepted my offer of a lifetime supply of bananas. So it is with a profound sadness that I tell you I do not own South of Nowhere. Yet. Dream big people!

* * *

**1 Year Later**

The morning rays brave the dark enclosure of my room trying to share some of their warmth and light with me as they sweep across my bedroom walls. I sigh as I search blindly for the long string I attached to extend the factory string on my black out shades. Aha! A quick tug sends the hopeful rays back to where they belong. Anywhere that is not my room. Hope doesn't live here anymore.

Not when I'm still trying to outrun a truth that finds me in my dreams every night. Every time I close my eyes I'm haunted. I'm scared you'll be there on the other side. Every time it's the same pleading eyes. On the worst nights or maybe it's the best nights you get to watch me die. My nights have become a slave to a past I ran away from. But you can't runaway from regret. It follows me everywhere I go. From that first cowardly step, a never ending weight that burdens my shoulders making it impossible to move on. It makes the falling tears relentless and I drown, I slip away under their current, always that weight dragging me down.

"Spence get up you're going to be late!" My room mate Stacy shouts through my bedroom door interrupting my morning ritual of self loathing.

I ignore her as usual. Lord knows I'm not moving without a little help today. I sigh as I roll over onto my stomach burying my head into my fluffy pillows. Actually, I don't think God knows much of anything lately, not nearly as much as my best friend Cuervo. What used to be a constant comfort in my life has become an overwhelming shame. I wont find any answers or comfort in a God that would ignore her screams and let that happen to her. Apparently not everyone is worthy of His mercy and I deserve less than most. The bar is open later than the church anyway.

I should have stopped them. Done something, anything. And thats _one_ of the truths I runaway from every night. I huff into my pillow as my heart begins to thud heavily as the extent of my involvement slams into my chest. I didn't just watch, I didn't just walk away, I led her there...

"Get your ass up now!" My room mate barrels through my door interrupting dangerous thoughts, yanking my cover's off exposing my now shivering body. She won't know it has nothing to do with the temperature change. She flips the light switch on and sliver's of light penetrate my pillow fortress.

"Go away Stace I'm not in the mood." I bury my head further as I continue to contemplate life's mysteries.

I feel the mattress sink under the weight of her fat ass. I mean that in the most loving lustful way possible. Yes, that ass is also one of life's great mysteries that I occasionally ponder.

"Nightmares again?" she asks as she runs her hand soothingly in circles on my back. I don't deserve her. I don't deserve a lot of things. I sigh again. When did I become such a fucking emo? Same day you embraced cowardice. I sigh again.

"Always" I mumble into my pillow deciding a very slow suffocation is in order as I bury my head even further.

"Why don't you try and get some help Spence, this isn't healthy." Her loving intentions get filtered through my tormented heart, shredding and rejecting her love.

I sit up abruptly and laugh bitterly at her suggestion but am silenced immediately.

"Mine eyes!" I hiss slamming them shut. Stacy is far more merciful than the all great and powerful Oz I used to believe in and flips the switch to off. The hallway light filtering into my room through the opened door, easing me into the light.

Stacy kneels in front of me placing her soft hands on my knees. When I finally open my eyes my poor friend gives me a look I've become accustomed to. Concerned green eyes are begging me to let her in. I roughly run my hands through my sandy blonde hair before closing my eyes and bury my face in my hands. Another pair of eyes are begging me now, haunting my days not just my nights.

"Stace I don't need help and," I breath in and out heavily "and if I did, I wouldn't deserve it. I'll be down in twenty." With that I walk away leaving my perplexed friend and get ready to spend another day day dreaming of all the things I could have done differently only to come home and find the harsh reality in my nightmares.

* * *

I hate them.

She stands at the foot of the bed watching her sister fighting the ghosts that continue to haunt her. As usual I'm filling the role of helpless sister.

Kyla had just gotten back from a quick pee in the middle of the night and was gutted to find her sister embattled in a nightmare. She blamed herself despite knowing it was out of her control. She wasn't there when Ashley needed her and that was all that mattered as she stood by helpless as her sister was tormented again by her attackers. She couldn't jump in and get hurt again. Ashley had been so mad at herself for accidentally busting Kyla's lip last time. The thrashing began to subside and Kyla quickly jumped back in to bed carefully pulling her sister into her.

"Shhh Ash.. you're just dreaming hun." she cooed into her sisters ear. "You're ok, you're safe, no one's going to hurt you." She gently tried to wake her sister. The prescriptions that allowed her to sleep also trapped her in those nightmares making Kyla's effort at waking her each time a difficult one.

She had months of practice trying to figure out the best method to wake her sister. After the lamp incident Kyla learned that forcefully jerking her awake was not the smartest way to rouse her. Ashley had still been amped from the adrenaline of the dream and in her panic had grabbed the first thing that was within reach and flung it towards Kyla missing her only because Kyla had hit the deck. Ashley had felt so horrible that night. Kyla had been relieved the hideous lamp had finally been properly disposed of.

She continued to hold her sister. Gently rocking her and running her hand through her curls. No longer thrashing but whimpering as those bitches broke her again in ways that couldn't be fixed. She sang to her.

Spent your life searching

Waiting in line

I know you're holding on

To what you cant find

When the light is fading

And its hard to see

I hope you know you're still a part of me

She stroked her sister's hair and watched as the torment on her sisters face began to fade.

So hold on

Hold on to me

Hold on

Hold on to me

"Ky?" She heard a sleepy whisper beside her.

"Ash?"

"You did not inherit daddy's talent."

"Oh fuck you!" She kissed her sister's temple.

"You need the TV or the light back on tonight?"

Ashley stared at the soft glow of the moonlight that blanketed the room through their curtains.

"No, just...just don't let go ok?" Ashley gripped the arm holding her tightly. Praying she wouldn't have anymore nightmares tonight. She released a heavy sigh.

"I wont. Night Ash, I love you." Kyla whispered as she closed her eyes. Since that night she had not let go and she didn't think she ever could. She squeezed her eyes tighter willing the tears and the memories away.

They both struggled with nightmares. Ashley's much worse than hers. Kyla could hardly cope with the twisted visions her mind conjured. She couldn't fathom the horror's her sister had to face when trapped in her mind. But Kyla was always there to wake Ashley before they got too bad. She wasn't able to spare her sister pain in the physical world but she'd make sure she wouldn't have to relive it in the dream world.

Ashley did the same for her. Waking Kyla from nightmares where she arrives too late finding her sister's lifeless broken body. Where it's her instead of Ashley. And then there were the nights when Kyla's terror woke Ashley with a piercing scream calling out her name.

Kyla held her sister a little tighter as she felt Ashley's body begin to shake as she sobbed quietly. She whispered reassuring words to her, soothing words meant to lull the petite brunette to sleep. Both girls eventually fell asleep trying to be strong for the other.

* * *

Ashley awoke to her sisters light breathing on her cheek. The small vibrations let her know Kyla was lightly snoring. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath trying to fall back asleep. She laid there with her sisters arm still wrapped tightly around her. Cocooned in silence and her sisters arms.

There was no way she would have made it through the last year without her sister by her side. She lazily stroked her sisters arms. She felt so safe in the mornings with her sister holding her protectively. Sometimes when she was on the cusp of waking up she would be the old Ashley. She would forget for the briefest moment what had happened to her. She would be carefree and happy.

That never lasted very long and the aches and twinges would begin reminding her that her body was broken and still healing. She was broken. Those mornings were especially rough on her.

Ashley let out a defeated sigh. Would she ever be the old Ashley again? She hated being this weak scared version of herself. 1 year had gone by but she was still stuck in that moment, lost in that night.

She felt Kyla stirring next to her and rolled to face her sliding some hair away from Kyla's eyes causing her to open them.

"Jesus Ash! Creepy much? Have you been watching me sleep?" Kyla asked with an arched brow and a sleepy yawn.

"No you doofus! I just woke up too." Ashley rolled her eyes at her but then got serious "Thank you, you know...for putting up with me this last year. It cant be helping your sex life having to tuck your big sis to sleep every night." Ashley bit her lip, grateful but guilty for taking up so much of her sister life.

"Ash" Kyla shook her head in frustration. "Do you think it bothers me to do this? That I wish I was out doing something else?" She props her head on her hand looking down at her worried sister. "Im not doing this out of sisterly obligation you know? It's entirely selfish. I.." Kyla sighed taking a pause to gather her thoughts. She needed to make sure Ashley knew she wasn't a burden.

"You're my best friend Ashley. I wouldn't know how to function without you and...and I need to know you're ok. God, "she sighs again, "I don't know what I would do if I woke up from one of those nightmares and you weren't beside me. I...I need to have you here as much as _you_ need _me_ here. I need to make sure you're safe and still here with me." She let's her words sink in before continuing "So stop thinking stupid shit and accept my clinginess like I accept yours."

Kyla flops back on the bed staring at the patterns on their ceiling. Codependent is what their therapist said. Of course they wouldn't understand, you cant explain to someone what it's like to hear your favorite person, favorite everything slip away while you helplessly sit there clutching a piece of plastic to your ear. They don't know the fear that has clawed its way into their hearts. Making sleep feel more like a threat than rest. Maybe someday they wouldn't need each other as much. But today wasn't that day.

"Annnd if we're lucky! We'll find husbands and wives that wont mind sharing a bed with 3 people. Although the sex could get awkward." she said as her face twisted in confusion."Whatever, we'll cross that bridge when we get to it." she waved off the minor problem.

Ashley smiled her eyes widening at another possible future "OR! We could end up two old lonely spinsters with a 100 cats and iguanas that end up eating us in our sleep." She said thoughtfully.

"Too much Ash, bring it back a bit."

"You're such a freak Ky."

"Oh hun" Kyla shook her head "I learned from the best." she smiled sweetly at her older sister.

"Good lord you mean theres a bigger freak than YOU out there?"

"Yes sensei" Kyla replied looking at her with profound respect bowing her head slightly.

Ashley couldn't keep up the crazy talk and finally broke out in laughter. "I love you Ky." She said between laughs.

"I love you more chicken but. Now let's go feed the beasts." She finished as both their stomachs rumbled.

"Yes, lets. I've got an early therapy today."

"How's that going?"

"Same shit different bull."

"But it's helping right?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"Girls move your asses! Breakfast in 10." Their dad informed them as he quickly popped his head in and out of their room.

"Shit!"

"Fuck!"

They whined in unison.

"Ash we have to tell him! I don't think I have any tastebuds left, they all ran away." She pouts.

"Along with your sense of hygiene. What the fuck Ky?" She says scrunching up her nose in disgust.

After a few sniffs she agrees. "Yeeaahh thats ripe! Im going to go shower." She hops out of bed and heads to her dresser.

"Hey Ky?"

"Mhm?" She mumbles as she digs through her drawers.

"I love you."

"Love you to Ashy Bear!" She replies cheerily before running back and giving her sister a sloppy peck on her forehead before taking a much needed shower.

Ashley leans her back on the headboard and begins her morning exercises. Stretching the digits on her right hand like she's suppose to 4 times a day. She stares at the slight bumps and thick scars as she extends her fingers. She sighs when she's finished and picks up the rubber ball she's meant to squeeze next. Feeling frustrated with how much effort she has to exert on something so simple she throws the ball across the room where it lands with a loud twang.

Her eyes follow the resonating sound across the room landing on what used to bring her so much joy. What should have brought her comfort like it had for over half her life. Her guitar sits on its stand gathering dust. Her stupid ball sitting next to it accusingly.

She lets out a frustrated sigh before getting up to pick up the ball, returning to the bed she sits on the edge facing her guitar. She let's the truth wash over her as she compresses the ball, knowing what each weak squeeze means. Wishing her doctor was wrong. Staring longingly at her guitar a familiar emotion consumes and motivates her.

I fucking hate them.

* * *

**STOP RIGHT HERE...What lies below is a different scenario that does not follow the main story. This is little treat for my Whovian reviewer in answer to their question. So unless you're a Whovian, proceed to the comments section if you're lovely self feels compelled to give me some feedback. **

**I REPEAT! This deviates from the main story. DO NOT READ beyond this lest you get confused. This is a one time deal and I will indulge in this story in private because my wife threatened to break my Ipad after I uttered SON/WHO crossover. FORGIVE ME if this fails to deliver. I do not presume to know how to write the awesomeness or complexity of Doctor Who. If it becomes too bothersome I'll remove it and repost without it. Otherwise it shall remain as is. **

**Cheers!**

Spencer dragged Carmen out of the alley her nose sniffling as heavy drops cascaded down her face. Walking away from the mournful eyes that begged her for help. She hastened her step down the block but stopped when Carmen yanked her back.

"Spence, what are you going to do?" Carmen's worried expression searched her girlfriends eyes.

"Nothing Carmen!" She barked out as she angrily wiped away her tears.

"You can't say anything Spence." She pleaded with her shaken girlfriend.

Spencer's head fell back as she gazed at the starless night letting the tears fall to the concrete below her.

"Your choices sealed our fate. I'm going to go home and forget you and this night ever happened."

"Spence" Carmen reached out lightly grabbing Spencer's hand before she yanked it away.

"No Carmen! There's no coming back from this." She cried for herself and cried even more when she saw the rest of the gang walk out of the alley, all but Marcy.

"Oh god! I have to go." she whimpered and clamped her hand over her mouth as she turned and ran home leaving this whole night and her girlfriend behind.

Carmen stood there watching her girlfriend runaway, a lump in her throat. A strange wooshing sound broke the silence as a violent gust of air swirled all around her. She searched for the source, but all she saw was Marcy finally exiting the alley.

Dropping her head in shame she stared at the stains that littered her jeans and doubled over emptying her stomach of its contents. As Carmen walked away and left her troubles that night, a door to a police box opened revealing a familiar but older blonde. Carmen was too wrapped up in the nights event to pay much attention as she crossed the street and disappeared around a corner.

The blonde spared one regretful look at her ex girlfriend before running in the direction of the alley and the broken brunette she knew she'd fine there.

"Spencer wait!"

"There isn't time!" she said halfway to the alley.

"I can't let you do this Spencer! It's too dangerous!"

"No! Don't try and stop me, not this time! I've seen you ignore the rules when it suits you and be damn near gleeful as you bend them to your will! I've helped you save entire worlds at what cost?! Just this once..." her voice breaks as she fights against her tears to finish. "Just this once, please...let me..." watery blue eyes pull at his two hearts.

"Do you think you're the first one to try this? Humans you're so damn sentimental and predictable! It never ends well Spencer! Never!

He watched her hang her head with the weight of the decision she had already made.

"It'll change everything Spencer..." he angrily pleaded with her one more time knowing nothing would dissuade his companion. Knowing all too well they always chose to learn the hard way, fixed points can never be atlered. But it always changed his friends, altering them from the inside out. He tried to spare them that grief. Tearing open old wounds would eviscerate their fragile emotions. And that's what made them so magnificent. Always that hope that beat life into their frail existence catapulting them into greatness.

She turned her back on him "I have to try!"

Of course you do, he sighed in anticipation of what was to come. Of course you do. Hope, its infectious, and he let his weary hearts fill with it before allowing his mind to attempt the impossible. Again.

Her blonde hair swayed in the air as she rushed to the alley hoping she made it in time.

As she came around the corner she froze as she relived the scene before her. Ashley lay there choking on her blood and Spencer stood there too stunned to do anything. Move your ass Carlin! She rushed to Ashley wiping some of the blood that splattered on her face.

She gently rolled Ashley onto her side hoping this kept her from continuing to choke on her blood. She already knew that an ambulance was on the way because her younger self had called 911 after running away from Carmen. But Ashley was found dead before they arrived. She just needed Ashley to hold on until they got here.

"Hold on Ashley, just hold on" She cried as she ran her hair through brown curls gingerly. Not knowing what else she could do to help to her.

She watched the brunette fail to reach into her pocket and cringed as she heard Ashley's anguished scream. She reached into Ashley's jean pocket pulling out the cell phone.

"Ky...Ky"

"Call...please"

Spencer searched the phone for the familiar name. Finding it she looked back up to find that the brunettes body had gone limp.

"Ashley?!" panicked cries erupted "Ashley!" she dropped the phone and held the brunettes face gingerly between her own. "Hold on please" she sobbed, relieved when she saw the brunettes eyes flutter. She picked up the cell phone and dialed Kyla's phone number waiting for her to pick up before pressing it to Ashley's ear.

Spencer's heart ached as Ashley struggled to say her goodbyes and she hated herself even more. How was this any better? She covered her mouth with her hand to silence the broken sobs as she listened to Ashley tell her sister she was scared, listened to Kyla's worried screams as she pulled away the phone.

She watched Ashley slip away again, "Shit, fuck!" she yelled and began to panic. Am I too late again? Always too fucking late! She collapsed over the brunette the weight of her failures falling in heavy drops.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't know. I should have stopped them!" She cried heavily over the still brunette, running her hand over her cheek, letting her tears fall over the face that had haunted her for the las 8 years.

"Spence..."

"I was too late again" she whimpered through her tears.

He bent down and gathered her into his arms where she could safely fall apart as two police officers rushed to Ashley.

"What's that ETA on the medics!" one of the officers yelled into his radio.

"Standby."

"They got a flat another ambulance is on its way already, 1 minute out."

"Shit!" The cop uttered as him an his partner began life saving measures.

He pulled a reluctant Spencer away from the unfolding scene his arm wrapped securely around her shoulders. "Don't you get it Spence. Theres nothing you could have done. They got here 2 minutes later than they would have" he said pointing at the cops "and the ambulance that should have arrived before them got a flat...something so inconsequential and yet life altering for her. There's nothing you could have done. Life, time, it finds a way to right itself."

They stood at the end of the alley as this awful lesson continued to play out. The paramedics sprinted down the alley joining the cops as they desperately tried to work a miracle.

"You shouldn't watch this Spence."

"No, I wont walk away this time." she leaned into him and wondered how anything about this night was right.

"We have a pulse! Let's get her stabilized and on the gurney."


End file.
